Do you wake from a night’s sleep befuddled by your dreams of being a hipster?  Your concerns are not unfounded.  The average citizen is untrained in the art of dream interpretation.  The good people of The Star Series have created the Egyptian Dream Book to instruct you in the ancient practice of deciphering the phantasms that occupy your sleeping unconscious.

This book is not available in an ordinary five and dime store.  In fact, you may not be able to find it in your locality.  For the betterment of the reading public a selection of words that pertain to hipster dreams have been reprinted below.

The Star Series includes such tantalizing titles as “Selected Vaudeville Jokes,” “Tramp Jokes: Recitations & Monologues,”  “Irish Yarns: Fun Wit & Humor,” and “Funny Rhymes: A Choice Collection.”

Hipster Dreams as Interpreted by The Egyptian Dream Book:

• Bar: To see in a dream a liquor-saloon, bar or wine-shop, gives assurance of a long life.
• Beard: A very long beard seen in a dream means an unfortunate undertaking; if it is moderately long and white, honors are to be bestowed on you; if it is black, luck is in your favor; if a bearded woman appears in your dream you will soon be wed.
• Beer: To see one’s self drinking beer in a dream is a threat of serious trouble.
• Bicycle: Many troubles and losses will be the lot of whoever dreams of a bicycle.
• Books: To see one’s self reading a good book in a dream, a promise of honors and fine position; if you are reading a wicked book, expect nothing but shame and disgrace.
• Cigarettes: To see one’s self smoking cigarettes in a dream, or to simply gaze at cigarettes, is a sign of very short-lived joy ahead.
• Clothing: A dream in which any kind of clothes play a dominant part, announces sorrows, illness, and death.
• Coffee: To see yourself drinking coffee in a dream, means many disagreeable incidents ahead; if you are roasting coffee-beans, you will have arduous and ill-requited work ahead of you.
• Glasses: Old fashioned spectacles or eye-glasses, in a dream, tell you that you are very blind and silly in your waking hours.
• Music: In a dream, to make music or to simply hear some, is a promise of money and bliss in the near future.
• Mustache: Many quarrels and insults will torment one who dreams of mustaches.
• Reading: In a dream, to see yourself reading some serious work, means that you will soon be advanced in your profession; if the book read is a novel, you will enjoy fleeting satisfaction.
• Tattoo: Regrettably, the authors of The Star Series were unable to reach their Cairo dream correspondent for an interpretation of this word due to recent governmental changes.